Annalogue

Dictionary

2009-12-14T19:34:04Z

Just like "super-size" became a new word that everyone understood and started using, perhaps "twitter-size" will become a new word.

twitter-size (v)

To condense a piece of writing into 140 characters, such that it would fit into a Twitter post.

Thus I could say that I twittersized each of my quick takes on my last 7QT post. :)

Vids!

2009-12-12T23:10:52Z

Pop Goes the Weasel. *Sending mind control waves at you* You will not notice the mess in the background. You will pay attention only to Gabe's cute laugh and Elijah's silliness. *End mind control*. :)

What better way for brothers to bond than to have Older Brother teach Younger Brother how to curtsy? LOL.

If you listen very carefully, you can make out Savi singing some of the syllables in "Old McDonald" - especially after she asks me what sound a horse makes.

Slave labor. There's nothing like it. ;) Actually, he was very excited about being allowed to operate the vacuum (it helps that we have such a light one), and I enjoyed watching his concentration as he did it.

A little section of family life.

Pics!

2009-12-12T23:02:28Z

Kyrie gave me this.

Side A. Sweet, eh? Then you flip it over and see...

Side B. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

That's right, Savi's reading my college engineering textbook. I'm sure she understands every bit. ;) Or, you know, probably could tell me what all the capital letters are. AHAHAHAHA. I guess the very-colorful and frequent diagrams made it an interesting book to look at for awhile.

Ken made the gingerbread house. He seems to think that it's perfectly reasonable to expect the kids to admire it from afar without ever once touching it or asking to eat it. I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect the kids to beg to be allowed to eat it on a daily basis and eat pieces that "accidentally" fall off when they handle it, which is what they're actually doing. :)

Gabe. He likes dem apples. He chokes on them less often if I peel the skins before he gets ahold of them. (Elijah likes apples and frequently leaves partially-eaten ones around for Gabe to grab.)

Catholic Anger

2009-12-12T03:42:18Z

"He doesn’t seem to be mad at anybody." [Source]

This endorsement really goes a long way to point out just often Catholics are mad at someone, eh?

7QT

2009-12-07T18:25:17Z

See Jen's 7 Quick Takes to see links to everyone participating. My theme for these blurbs is "things God is doing in my life". Since my husband thinks my takes are anything but quick, this week I'm condensing each take into a twitter-able size. I'd appreciate it if you shared whether you think that works well or not.

God told me to drive Elijah to school; and then to park farther away. Discovered that Gabe couldn't breathe in wind. Glad I didn't walk.

Wanted to go to penance serv. instead of usual 2nd Sat confession. Saw 2nd Sat = Guadalupe. Big deal here, so no confession. Worked out.

Been asking God about writing comments on blogs. Get frustrated when he says it's not ready to post, but find that leads to better writing.

Another time, my lectio divina helped me write a better comment. I like it when God helps me write better.

LD showed my faltering faith re: job/money. Spoke aloud re: trust & "I praise the name of the Lord". Jesus said "Thank you". Profound for me

Is there a hormone that makes us crave tossing stuff and having uncluttered space? Asked God about these extreme feelings, no answer yet.

Gave friend ride. Got negative feeling from God. Didn't listen. Van overheated. BAD. Made it home eventually. Begged God's forgiveness.

More PicVids

2009-11-29T05:47:47Z

Nana and Steve came and visited for Thanksgiving! Yay! Nana has craft skills (and interest) that I completely and totally lack. The kids enjoyed this.

Gabe reacted well to both of them, I thought. Ignore the mess in the background.

Elijah asked me if the 'lollipop song' went on forever (like a couple other songs we have sung recently - a la Lambchop's This is the Song That Never Ends). That question resulted in the following scene:

Oh, and Elijah has a bruise on his cheek because he collided with a classmate's head earlier this week.

Kyrie's Thankful

2009-11-25T00:56:05Z

Kyrie brought this home today. In case you can't read it, this is what it says:

Thankfull

I am thankfull far many
things like my gradma and she
dide when my mother was
15ing and my hous I am thank-
full my hous buecos it cepes
me worm and it cepes my things
safe and drie.

(Gresham is the name of the suburb we live in. Apparently she labelled our house Gresham. And over below the car, that's my mom. "I put her under the ground because she's dead" Kyrie said. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks a little too much about death. But overall I thought it was cute.)

Dave Ramsey

2009-11-22T23:59:34Z

"He is so serious about shunning debt that his Web site takes only debit cards; try to pay with a Capital One Visa, and the system rejects the card, then tut-tuts at you." [Source]

I gotta say, I admire that kind of integrity.

Kyrie Video

2009-11-22T00:05:47Z

On the theory that it will be less annoying if I put them up as I get them, instead of less often... (a theory I'm sure will peter out soon.)

Hindu Woman Converts to Catholicism after Visions of Mary

2009-11-21T23:56:58Z

Cool story.

Another Pic! Already!

2009-11-19T01:26:49Z

Kyrie wrote this. That "olso righ" means "also write". I think the rest is readable enough. I have NO idea what she was thinking, but I thought it was pretty funny.

Whine Whine

2009-11-18T05:32:44Z

Ok, just so you guys understand why I don't put videos and pics on here more often, let me describe the process in excruciating detail. Because I would rather write about it than actually do it right now. (I wrote that, but then I had to actually go through the process of putting them up, to make sure I wasn't skipping any steps.) If you read this whole post, there's a picture at the end as a reward. :)

1. Take picture.

Camera to laptop
2. Find cord that connects camera to laptop.
3. Open camera software.
4. Wait till it fully loads.
5. Plug camera into laptop.
6. Turn camera on.
7. Click "transfer all" on the dialog window that pops up.
8. Wait for pictures to transfer to laptop.
9. Click "ok" on the dialog box informing me it's done.

10. Double click on first pic/vid icon to display it.
11. Continue clicking the right-arrow button to see all pic/vids.

Sorting
12. Find a pen and scrap paper.
13. Go back to the first pic/vid.
14. Make a (final) decision about whether to post the first pic/vid.
15. If not, move on to the next.
16. If posting first pic/vid, close out the viewing-full-size window.
17. Right click on the first pic/vid's icon.
18. On the pop-up menu, click "Locate on computer".
19. When a new window pops up, pay attention to which of the identical icons happens to be selected.
20. Write down the last three digits of the selected file - on the scrap paper.
21-144. Repeat steps 14 through 20 for every single pic/vid. (Current batch: 28 pic/vids. 17 used pic/vids * 6 steps + 11 not-used * 2 = 124 steps. Never mind that I did things a little differently this time to locate the photos I wanted - the total number of clicks was probably similar.)
145. Close out all the popped up "locate on computer" windows.

Laptop to Internet
146. Open a new tab and go to Photobucket.
147. Open a new tab and go to Youtube.
148. In Photobucket (assuming I don't have to re-sign-in), click on 'upload pictures'.
149. In the dialog box that pops up, click on the button to go up one folder.
150. Find and click on the folder that has the most recent date as part of the name.
151. Use ctrl-click to select all of the picture files that have been written down on the scrap paper.
152. Click "upload".
153. While waiting for those to upload, click over to the youtube tab and click on 'upload'.
154. Click "upload video".
155-156. Repeat steps 149 and 150.
157. Select the first video file that is written down on scrap paper and then click "open".
158. Try to remember which video it was and give it an appropriate name.
159-176. Repeat steps 154, 157, and 158 for the remaining videos written down. (I have 6 videos in this batch, hence 18 steps. Although I just now decided step 158 is a waste of time and am skipping that one from now on.)

Internet to Blog: Part I
177. Open a new tab to my blog.
178. Click "Post".
179. Write a title for the post. Along with steps 10 and 11, this is one of the few steps I don't mind doing.
180. Write at least one sentence to go at the top of the post, for a placemarker. References to Kris are common, since she can always be relied on to tell me how much she enjoys seeing pics and vids of my kids.

More Sorting - With a God Interlude
181. Decide that 17 pic/vids in one post is too many.
182. Try to figure out how to break the pic/vids up - randomly? by some sort of category? 4 Halloween pics, check.
183. While trying to write something suggesting a category, discover that the pen has stopped working.
184. Wonder if the pen isn't working cause God wants you to get off the computer and help the kids get ready for bed.
185. Get another pen from your pocket.
186. When that doesn't work, decide God definitely wants you to go put the kids to bed.
187. Go put the kids to bed.
188. Come back about a half hour later and find a pen working just fine.
189. Finish making and marking categories.

Internet to Blog: Part II
(Adding photos)
190. Go back and write a (new) title on the post to reflect one of the categories.
191. Click on the Photobucket tab.
192. Click "Return to journal" to get back to the page with the embed codes.
193. Click on the "Direct Link" text box and copy.
194. Click over to the LJ post tab.
195. Click on "Insert Image".
196. Paste the link text into the correct text box.
197. Click "ok".
198. Repeat if either Photobucket or LJ decides to have issues with copy-and-paste. (Semi-often).
199. Write headnotes and/or footnotes for the picture embedded.
200. Hit "enter" a few times to provide white space between pictures. (Can I call it blue space if I have a blue background?)

(Adding videos)
201. Click on youtube tab.
202. Click on the "Embed" text box for the desired pic/vid. Hopefully you wrote and uploaded all the file names in the same order, because otherwise you are just guessing as to which file corresponds to which video. Unless you go through the hassle of using the 'locate on computer' feature for every file again.
203. Copy.
204. Click on the LJ post tab.
205. Click on "Embed media".
206. When the dialog box pops up, paste and hit "insert".
207. Write a footnote, if desired. This is difficult, since LJ's 'embed media' option just results in a grey video box, not an actual playable preview to tell you which video you just posted.
208. Click on the youtube tab.
209. Click on the 'embed and sharing options' link to minimize/hide that option for whichever file you just finished, so you know which ones you've done.

210 - 349. Repeat step 178 and steps 190-209 as needed until all pics and vids have been added to each post and each post has been posted. (Don't forget to add tags to post.) (11 pics * 11 pic-steps + 6 vids * 9 vid-steps = 179 steps; subtract 6 and 3 and 11 and 9 when you realize you've forgotten to count the first time through each series of this whole post, gives 150, randomly decide to subtract 10 more for any steps skipped in the photo/video series, like adding footnotes to videos, which you didn't do this time around, gives 140. 209 + 140 = 349.)

350. Celebrate being done! Look forward to not having to do it again for awhile.

And here's the last picture, in case any of you are actually comparing my numbers to the last couple picture video posts.

That's what we feed Gabe! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (Gabe's highchair happens to sit on the way to the kitchen. I was vastly amused at the juxtaposition when I saw Ken had left his plate there. I'm STILL amused. You're sitting there staring at me like I'm crazy, thinking "It's not that funny, Anna", but I'm still laughing. So there.)

Random Kid PicVids

2009-11-18T05:17:40Z

Nothing like being woken up from a nap by your son insisting he show you what he made with legos. I would have been pretty annoyed if I hadn't already been woken by Gabe (who I was nursing when Elijah came knocking on the door). Impressive Legos, though.

I had to help Kyrie with the K. She couldn't figure out how to get started with the whole angled thing. She finished it off nice, though.

Headbands for Hippies?

A Gabe and his Exploits PicVid Post

2009-11-18T05:06:27Z

What 1 year old doesn't like his beer?

And his chicken. (He dragged this plate and fork off the table and sat down and started eating it.)

And let's not forget about pancakes. Yummm.

Halloween Pic/Vids

2009-11-18T04:50:34Z

The kids decided to "decorate" for Halloween.

Close-up of the first two.

Close-up of the third ghost.

Aren't they cute? Pirate; ninja; frog; and bride.

7QT

2009-11-16T19:36:52Z

7 Quick Takes is a blog carnival, hosted every Friday by Jen of ConversionDiary.com. See this week's 7 Quick Takes to read Jen's Takes and see links to everyone participating. The idea is to post seven blurbs, usually things which are too short to write a full blog post about, but still interesting. My theme for these blurbs is "things God is doing in my life".

Doing lectio divina on Saturday, with the gospel's message of persistence in prayer, the line "he will see to it that justice is done for them speedily" resonated with me and reminded me to keep faith that God will answer my prayers for a job for Ken, and that he won't wait too long.

Saturday I was sleepy, but I had this persistent feeling that I should stick to my schedule which said I should be writing at that time. As I tried to work on an email, I kept nodding off, and I felt sure my writing must be too poor quality to actually use. But I kept feeling that God was pushing me to write, anyhow, so I did. Monday when I looked at the email again, I found it didn't need rewriting after all, just a touchup or two and then picking up where I left off.

Tuesday I had one of those "I probably shouldn't eat one more muffin, but it's so good, so I will" moments. Then lectio divina that day focused on "have the courage to reject the food which it is unlawful to taste even for love of life. ... suffering it with joy in my soul". Again, that really spoke to me. "Love of life" is exactly how pleasures get justified in my mind, and suffering with joy in my soul is exactly what I need to replace it with.

It seems to me fitting, if not completely pleasant, that, in the month where God told me to work on cleaning my heart, the things that come up in lectio divina are frequently my sins.

One exception this week was when my lectio divina focused on something that I'd had opportunity to talk about with my sister-in-law last Saturday. I'm not going to give any details; it's too sad an issue for me to share in a blog post. But the lectio divina was, in its own way, comforting.

On my morning walks to and from dropping Elijah off at school, I've been daydreaming about how to design a city. Something felt wrong about spending my time on a project that will never go beyond my mind, though. During a before-bed examination of conscience, God convinced me that yes, he doesn't want me doing it. (There are practical reasons for thinking this: such daydreams just make it easier to get frustrated with the real world, for example). So I'm working on redirecting my thoughts to more relevant considerations.

When getting ready to do today's lectio divina, I felt led to read some of the notes that accompany the Mass readings in my little booklet. The notes explicitly compared Jesus' cleaning out of the temple to us being the temple of the Spirit and needing to be kept cleaned out. It sounded exactly like 'cleaning my heart'. So my lectio divina focused on "My house shall be a house of prayer, but you have made it a den of thieves." I realized that I had been feeling attacked by anxieties all day, and that I had let some of these anxieties in like thieves, and wasn't trusting God as I should. So I apologized to God and asked his forgiveness and let go of my anxieties, and felt very much more like a house of prayer.

Race and Choice

2009-11-16T05:02:04Z

Possibly one of the most fascinating footnotes ever, from Montessori: the Science Behind the Genius by Lillard.

...In one experiment, 7- to 9-year-olds were asked to solve anagrams, and one group was allowed to choose from among six categories of anagrams, such as animals, foods, or parties (iyengar & Lepper, 1999). A second group was told the experimenter had chosen their categories, and a third was told their mothers had made a choice. Categories were in fact yoked, so all the children had the free-choice group's anagrams.
There were two significant findings of interest here. First, the children who had chosen their own category solved twice as many anagrams as children who thought their mothers or the experimenter had chosen their category. Second, during an optional free-play period after the initial anagram task, the children who had chosen their own category spent much more time freely choosing to solve anagrams than did children whose category had been chosen for them. Free choice was thus associated with both initial level of performance and with task persistence, which undoubtedly would lead to additional performance gains over time.¹

¹ The findings given here are with regard to Euro-American children. For Asian Americans, maternal choice was associated with even better learning.

7QT

2009-11-11T06:00:30Z

I've been thinking about - really more like agonizing over - whether I should walk Elijah to school in the mornings instead of driving him. School is about a mile away; I really didn't *want* to have to walk it, but it would save gas money, is better for the environment, and would be good exercise for me. I just couldn't find any peace on it, so finally I bibled it. Can't remember what the passage was like, but I definitely took it to mean I should walk, and that decision has brought me some peace.

I talked with my friend Angela on Monday, and while talking about things going on in her own life, she said something along the lines of how you can only learn to follow God in the desert. This really struck me, because I feel like God has been giving me messages about following him and also giving me the feeling that I should be making lots of sacrifices at this time. It hadn't really occurred to me that the sacrifices were about learning to follow God better, but that makes some sense to me, and I was grateful for that insight.

Tuesday's lectio divina centered on a similar message (from Wisdom): "Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed, because God tried them and found them worthy of himself." That's where I feel I am at; being tried in (mild) fire, with blessings to follow.

There's a "healing the family tree" event going on this weekend, and I was agonizing over whether to go, there being practical difficulties with doing so. I took a moment to "clean heart". I realized that I felt, in a backwards sort of way, that I ought to go because I still had unresolved theological issues with the concept. I felt fairly clearly God telling me that he would deal with that later; that this was not the time. So I'm not going.

With the thought of making sacrifices in the back of my mind, and after realizing I had spent some excessive time on the computer, I was thinking of giving the computer up entirely for awhile. When I asked God about it, though, I felt that he wanted me to let him lead me as to when I should and shouldn't be on the computer; that this was part of following him. I sense it will still involve some cutting back on computer time, and this route is a lot harder for me than an "all or nothing" approach.

Chatting with my sister-in-law this week, I somehow ended up throwing out a list off the top of my head of things that I can feel I ought to do, but only when someone is talking about them (like wearing headcoverings, or walking everywhere I go). I meant it almost as a sort of "see how silly my feelings are" kind of thing, so I was surprised when she responded that she could see all the things I listed as somehow fitting me. I suddenly had this flash of how freeing it might be for me to embrace a whole host of things simmering in my subconscious - rather like how freeing it was for me to embrace the epidural-free birth, with Gabe. I think I will pay more attention towards which of these kinds of things God might be leading me towards.

I'm helping with my parish's Bunco night tonight, which means I will be offered food with meat and also desserts, both of which I would otherwise be trying not to eat today. I talked to God about it, and I was leaning towards thinking he was saying to go ahead and eat meat and desserts anyways, and I felt that was confirmed when today's lectio divina focused on "For from the greatness and the beauty of created things their original author, by analogy, is seen."

November: Cleaning Heart

2009-11-05T20:51:21Z

Reading the Scripture readings before Mass on November 1st, the phrase from the Gospel really struck me, "Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God." More than any of the other rewards promised in the Beatitudes, I want to see God. I noticed the fact that it was "clean" of heart and not the usual translation of "pure" of heart. I was wondering if being clean of heart is a binary thing; either you are clean, or you aren't. Then I thought of a post I'd read comparing cleaning house to cleaning up sins. I thought that was the perfect metaphor; being clean of heart must be like being clean of house; requiring regular maintenance. (I would never have thought of that if the translation had been 'pure of heart'.)

Gabe was fairly distracting during Mass, but at one point during the Psalm, I re-focused my thoughts back on God and the words of the Psalm. Just in time to catch the words "whose heart is clean". At that point, I wondered if this had something to do with whatever November's new habit should be. How do you do regular cleaning on a heart? Go to weekly confession? Get back on track with a daily Examen?

I am trying to be more careful to do some sort of Examen-like prayer each night before bed. But I'm also trying to grab quiet moments here and there to stop and take a look at what's going on in my heart, particularly if I'm aware of being troubled or anxious, and clear out any issues that need resolving.

It sounds strange to me to say that my new habit is "cleaning my heart", but there you go.

7QT

2009-11-01T22:01:16Z

November's habit is cleaning my heart. Sounds odd, doesn't it? But there you go.

This is something like what cleaning my heart looks like: on Monday evening, it became clear that my plans to catch up on the writing I do for my prayer group was NOT going to happen. I was disappointed. After putting it off awhile, I finally took some quiet time to "clean heart". Jesus quickly showed me that one of the main sources of my disappointment was because I was worrying about other people's opinions (including whoever reads my blog). So I repented of that and asked Jesus' forgiveness and asked him to help me not to repeat that mistake. My disappointment evaporated, and I felt, well, cleaner.

On Wednesday, my lectio divina centered on "everyone of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple". Since I've been craving the sweets I can't have, that was one area it struck me. But I also decided to vividly imagine myself giving up various possessions. The hardest things to let go of (in my head) were the baby quilt that I made with my mom, and her autobiography which had just come in the mail that day, from my dad. (By the way, an emphatic thanks, Dad!) I also figured truly renouncing my possessions meant renouncing having my way with them, which applies to the inflatable pool that I want to toss, but Ken wants to keep. So... no more nagging Ken about it. Or at least not nagging every day, as I was otherwise considering doing.

Later in the week, I ran across this video of a sermon, which pretty much says the same things.

Also on Wednesday, I was sitting on the low wall outside my kids' school waiting for them to come out. There's always a bunch of parents hanging around waiting for kids at that time. I was doing my indrawn, don't-look-at-anyone-and-feel-miserably-shy thing. I realized I was doing that, and decided I should "clean heart". So I took a look inside, as it were, and realized I was being scared of other's opinions when what I should be doing was radiating love. So I dared to look up and around and immediately noticed a bee crawling on the knee of the lady sitting next to me. I pointed it out to her; she flicked it off and stepped on it and thanked me. We exchanged a few comments, and when we saw each other again yesterday, we introduced ourselves. I thought that was *really* cool.

Friday morning, I was tired and everything was grey and I just felt heavy. When I decided to clean my heart, I found that I wanted to wallow in my feelings instead of rejoicing in the beautiful day God had given me. So I tried to work on that a bit.

Lately I keep feeling, or the topic keeps coming up, that I should give things up and make sacrifices. Specifically, I think God wants me to continue to detach from food more, and to think less about all the things that I wish I could afford.

Halloween

2009-11-01T05:31:08Z

Background Thoughts

There's a discussion going on over at Conversion Diary about why NOT to celebrate Halloween.

I had a conversation with Ken this morning, though, that gave me thought. Ken had the news on, and they mentioned some people who had "celebrated Halloween early" in order not to have any distractions for the 'big game' that was happening on Halloween itself. (I have no idea what team, or even which sport, was involved with the 'big game'.) I commented, though, on the fact that other holidays are relatively easy to celebrate early or late, according to your convenience, but it's a lot harder to do that with Halloween. Ken agreed, saying that it's because you depend on other people when celebrating Halloween.

Later on today, Elijah said something about us "celebrating Halloween". I asked him and Kyrie if they knew why we celebrate Halloween. When they said no, I explained that tomorrow was All Saint's Day, when we celebrate that when people die, they aren't gone forever, but they are still connected to us, still with us, in Jesus. And that's why we go trick-or-treating the night before and get candy from people. (I left the explanation at that... they seemed to buy it just fine, which surprised me a little.)

A New Theology of Halloween

But suddenly there was a connection made in my mind. Halloween - the indulgent and materialistic candy-fest with occult overtones that our society has turned the somber All Hallow's Eve into - this holiday of all holidays preserves what is in our culture a rare thing - an act of community. And community is exactly what All Saint's Day is all about.

Most holidays in America are family affairs, or perhaps extended to close friends. That's why they can be rescheduled to fit the participants' needs. Halloween is not just a family affair. To celebrate Halloween, we need a neighborhood. Halloween pushes us to walk up to doors we would never otherwise go, and say something to people we might never normally speak as much as 'hi' to. Weak as that is, it is an expression of community, and so it belongs on the eve of the day dedicated to the ultimate community - the Church. How fitting it is that, before we turn to the saints on November 1st to ask for the favor of their prayers, we turn to our neighbors on October 31st to ask for the favor of their candy.

Romantic Conversation on Tuesday

2009-10-31T21:01:20Z

Elijah: "Mom, did you know I'm feeling in love with Kyrie?"
Me: "Do you know what feeling in love means?"
Elijah: "Yes".
Me: "What do you think it means?"
Elijah: "It means I want to marry her."
Me: "You can't marry your sister."
Elijah: "Not now, silly. When I'm adult."
Me: "You can't marry her, even when you're grown up. You can only marry someone who is not your sister."
Elijah: "There's a girl at church I always wave to and she waves back. I wave at her but sometimes she waves to someone else. She waves to me when I wave to her. She's feeling in love with me."
Me: "The girl who sings in the choir?"
Elijah: "Yes. The guy had on a blue shirt."
Me: "He did?"
Elijah: "She's a girl. She was wearing a blue shirt yesterday when we went to church. I think she's pretty."
Me, thinking: I thought he was crushing on her.

And yes, he sometimes refers to girls as "guys". I think all my kids have done this. I can't believe he even remembered what color shirt she was wearing.

7QT

2009-10-26T04:21:50Z

This last week I just discovered that my local farmer's market has started accepting food stamps. So I went down on Saturday and ended up taking Kyrie and Gabe with me. Since the Farmer's Market happens to be right close to the Perpetual Adoration chapel, I stopped by there on the way home. It was the first time I took Kyrie to Adoration with me. We only stayed 15-20 minutes, since I thought she would get bored, and Gabe was squirmy and noisy. Kyrie behaved great, being silent the whole time. It was fun to talk over the experience with her afterwards, and answer all her questions. Her first one being why don't they want us to touch the monstrance. (I said, because they didn't want it to get dirty and have to be cleaned all the time.)

On Sunday, I'm sitting trying to decide whether to commit to a nanowrimo-style project (i.e. lots of writing during November, but in my case it's not fiction). I think God is telling me yes, but it sounds like a lot of overload to me, so I'm not sure. Especially since the kids' have 6 days off school during November, and I would find it hard to write during those days. I turn to pray with the Scriptures for the day, and I find the first reading assuring me that God is leading me, even "mothers and those with child", and I remembered that when I had heard the Scriptures during Mass that morning, the line had struck me: "I will lead them to brooks of water, on a level road". Definitely sounded like God was saying he'd give me the living water I needed to do this project.

On Monday, I asked for prayer for that project (both in terms of discerning for sure if I should do it, and for grace to do it successfully if I should), from my charismatic prayer group's prayer team. One of the people praying over me said she was getting (from God) that God would lead me and guide me, as he led the Israelites with the pillar of cloud. So now I am trying to frequently turn to God throughout the day for guidance in almost every detail, and let the next moment take care of itself. It's tempting to stress about whether I'm hearing him right, but then I just need to relax and trust him to take care of that.

On Thursday, I kept nodding off while trying to write something, and Gabe seemed tired, so I headed for an early nap. I asked God if that was ok. I heard first a 'no', but I rejected it as coming from God because I noticed it had an accusing tone to it. Then I heard a 'yes', with a very gentle tone, which I accepted as coming from God. It was nice to be able to catch the difference in tones so clearly, since it isn't always that clear for me.

Also on Thursday, I went through my Google Reader and prayed over each feed coming in, asking if God wanted me to keep it or not. I resorted to Bibling for a couple which I felt like I was not getting a clear answer for. The Bibled verses were often remarkably apt in describing the blogs being considered.

"Don't be troubled; just trust in Me." (I think from John 16). This has been stuck in my mind the last day or two. This is good, because I otherwise have umpteen things coming to mind that need to be done. Reminding myself that God brought this phrase into my life is my antidote for all those feelings of failing him for not getting things done.

Speaking of trusting God... I was worried about what Elijah was going to do for a costume this year. His pirate costume from three years ago has finally gotten a bit on the small side for him; Savi was unwilling to trade the frog costume that the neighbors gave her for the pirate costume; I figured I could cut up an old sheet for a cape and make him a paper crown, but when I told Ken that, he got that "I'm going to buy my kid a real costume even if it means not paying some bills" look. Then, today, when I was cleaning, I gradually became aware that Elijah had opened the door and was talking with our neighbor. I overheard him say something about liking a ninja costume, and she said she would bring it over later. (She walked away and Elijah shut the door again). Sure enough, they brought over another of Jubal's old costumes, and this ninja one fits Elijah great. It is good how God takes care of us. (Which totally makes me wonder what my agnostic neighbors would think of me seeing their actions as part of God's plan. Sara, if you read this, let me know. :) )

7QT

2009-10-17T19:52:52Z

So I picked decluttering as a new habit for this month, right? I was very tired when I was trying to pray about it, so I was not at all sure that that was God's will. I picked it mostly because it was simply the only one that would come to mind. If I forced myself to, I could think of something else, but decluttering kept coming back and back again into my mind. I figured that might be God's doing, and went with it. But two things have happened this month to help confirm me in that: one was the insight I shared last week in #7. The other was that I got a notice about a free paper-shredding event last Saturday. One of my decluttering goals was getting rid of several year's worth of financial statements (not tax returns) that I didn't dare just stick in the recycling. So the timing of that event was a blessing from God.

I've been feeling lately like I spend half the week recovering from my "rest" on Sundays, so I resolved to do certain minimum chores on Sunday: particularly doing dishes (which has fallen by the wayside) and making the kids do all their "picture clues", including cleaning up before bed. It made a big difference in the peacefulness of my Monday.

Monday's lectio divina totally seemed like more verification that this is the month for me to declutter. "One’s life does not consist of possessions", indeed. That fit right in with that earlier revelation, that I hang on to things because I feel they are a part of me. Clearly, this is what God wants me to be working on.

On Thursday, I felt God leading me not to try to buy a present for my aunt (whose birthday is Monday), but to write her a letter. So I did.

During Thursday's lectio divina, the phrase "But what profit did you get then from the things of which you are now ashamed?" really struck out at me. But I don't feel I really know what it means yet, or what area in my life it is directed at. (It may be several).

Gabe's idea of a good time lately is to stay up an hour or two past when I want to head for bed. So I'm pretty sleepy. That leaves me vulnerable to feelings of failure (among other things). One day this week, I was sort of trying to tell God how sorry I was for being such a miserable failure that day, when I got the impression he was telling me he was actually pretty pleased with me. He suddenly showed me how I would have handled being tired in the past, compared to how I handle it now, so that I could see the progress I was making. Right then, he wanted me to focus more on that, and less on the "how ridiculously far I have left to go" bit, much like how I would want to be giving my kids praise and encouragement when they started improving on something, instead of criticizing them for not getting it all right away.

Along the lines of the last take, I've been concerned lately about failing to follow through on all the new habits I've supposedly already acquired. (Dinners at the table are sporadic; various "picture clues" get left out periodically; I'm not exercising at all since the kids' school started back up, and so on.) In today's lectio divina, I focused on the Psalmist's words "Never will I forget your precepts, for through them you give me life." It was comforting, as if God was telling me that my current struggles were not a prelude to forgetting his commands altogether, which was rather what I was afraid of.

Video Post

2009-10-17T03:23:42Z

This video post is brought to you courtesy of the extra battery for the camera, a battery which God rather mysteriously provided. (As in, I have no idea how it came to be in the apartment).

If you can understand Savi in this video, I will be impressed. I always get a kick out of when she is talking and says "... lie dis [like this]" and then starts doing something funny or making funny noises.

I walked in, and Gabe was singing "da da da da" into the mic. It was perfect, but it didn't come out on camera all that great, either visually or auditorially.

All the rest of these videos are successive takes on "new" things Gabe has been doing - mostly related to walking.

Gabe learns to climb onto things. (Just now, I discovered that if I have the footrest up, he can get himself most of the way onto the couch. It's scary.)

In which I try to catch Gabe taking a step or two (which he did off-camera, of course).

This was cute. I'm not quite sure how Gabe ended up in the middle of the living room without anything close by to hold on to, but he just stood there and then yelled at the TV.

This was one of the relatively successful attempts at capturing Gabe's earliest steps on camera.

And then, this next video is where he's at now. From first steps to walking everywhere is a fairly quick transition, I've found.